Mascara

I was strolling through Central Park today in New York City and was baffled by the splendor I found. I have been to the park several times, but not in 20 inches of snow (granted last New Years was bitter cold (far worse than the 20 degrees this year). I loved walking the cobblestone sidewalks, canopied by the leave-less, mangled trees. As I came up over the parapets, thinking that I would find the infamous ice skating rink, I once again beheld the Bethesda Fountain. What a glorious statue of an angel that watches over us all across from a glorious walkway full of arches and adjacent to a beautiful frozen lake--"respect the delicate ecology of your delusions."
La Cage Aux Folles is such a breathtaking show. I have loved the George Hearn (original Broadway soundtrack) version for several years, so I was elated to see a more "raw" production than the infamously glamorous original. Front row baby! Talk about muscles and tits, girdles and jocks--it was hellashiously hysterical and it felt like being a fly on the wall more than a mere bystander paying heaps of money to see Actors. Kelsey Grammer and Douglas Hodge were both fab. Too bad they both could not have received the Tony. I loved loved loved the choreography and the light design during the huge number La Cage Aux Folles. Go get them birdcagers!

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown was cool. Not as influential or extraordinary as La Cage, but it was indeed nice to see some familiar and famous faces. Laura Benanti stole the show with her obsession with Pepa. I am still chuckling about it days later. Tony anyone? I do love the poster for the show as well as the 90 degree angle work in the lighting and scenic design.

Influence

Here are my top 20 played songs of the year 2010:

1-Bad Romance--Lady Gaga
2-For Your Entertainment--Adam Lambert
3-Firework--Katy Perry
4-Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop--Landon Pigg
5-I Gotta Feelin'--Black Eyed Peas
6-Boom Boom Pow--Black Eyed Peas
7-Ur So Gay--Katy Perry
8-Blame It On the Girls--MIKA
9-Dog Days Are Over--Florence + the machine
10-Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)--Katy Perry
11-Funhouse--P!nk
12-If I Had You--Adam Lambert
13-Corner--Allie Moss
14-Seventy Times 7--Brand New
15-Peacock--Katy Perry
16-Your Love is My Drug--Ke$ha
17-We Are Golden--MIKA
18-Fairy Dance--James Newton Howard
19-Take It Off--Ke$ha
20-Dance in the Dark--Lady Gaga

Here are a couple shoutouts that should have made the list but didn't:

All the Lovers--Kylie Minogue
Fire with Fire--Scissor Sisters
I'll Be Seeing You--Ashley Brown
Imma Bee--Black Eyed Peas
F*** You--Lily Allen

Requited

La nuict froide et sombre
Couvrant d'obscure ombre
La terre et les cieux
Aussi doux que miel
Fait couler du ciel
Le sommeil aux yeux

Puis le jour suivant
Au labeur duisant
Sa lueur expose;
Et d'un tein divers,
Ce grand univers.
Tapisse et conpose.

---------------------------

The night, cold and somber,
covering with a dark shadow
the earth and the heavens,
likewise lets sleep, sweet
as honey, fall from
Heaven to the eyes.

Then the day that follows,
fostering toil,
exposes its light,
and, with diverse colors,
clothes and forms
this great universe.

--Joachim Du Bellay

Ponder

In my anitqua music history class, I have really pondered about a couple of things that I have learned. I have really enjoyed Dr. Schlagel's remarks because masses and chants have much more meaning than I have ever thought they would.

When the bubonic plague rampaged through Europe in 1348-49, people's mortal lives were put at risk. Having a disease where once one symptom appeared you were dead in three days created a perspective on how valueable life is and how easily it can be taken away. People now had an acute sense of mortality.

Before all this occured, people were very religious. Music was there to honor God, for the most part, and everything had a sacred meaning. After 2/3 of Europe lie dead in heaps and mounds, the world moved from a vernacular to secular: people began to focus on the here and now (time on Earth) rather than the future time in Heaven.

So therefore, what is the purpose of life?

There are three approaches that I have been thinking about.

1- Religion--we are sent here, as God's children, to live a virtuous life and do the best we can. No matter which religion one is apart of, I think it is safe to say everyone strives to be the perfect self they can be. What we do on Earth will be rewarded in Heaven. We are here to love God and love thy neighbor. Two commandments. Simple. Period.

2- Pragmatic--We need to leave our mark on the world. We only live once and therefore need to make the best of what comes our way. When we die, will we be remembered or has it all just been an adventure? We not only need to focus on others, but we need to not forget about ourselves. What is it we want to accomplish while here for such a short period of time?

3- Humanist--We are all human beings. We all come from the same place. We should be the best person that we can be so that the people who follow us will be able to have a better life than we had/have a better experience. This is where the learn from your elders comes from. We need to be the best people that we can be for ourselves, our happiness and the happiness and lives of the future human beings.

Being raised in a religious atmosphere, everything seems to be layed out plain and clear. However, it seems life is not black and white. There is no right and wrong answer to every situation. Really, what is the purpose of life? Are we supposed to live so that we have an amazing Heaven experience? Is it based on blind faith and hope wishing what we believe to be true is in fact, true? Or do we take on all three concepts and be the best person we can be while focusing on ourselves and the future betterment of mankind?

I think the best answer for right now is something I wrote on my bedroom wall in highschool:

"You are who you want to be!"

Glow

As Mama Odee says, "Don't matter whatcha look like. Don't matter whatcha wear [...] Don't matter where you come from. Don't even matter whatcha are [...] We don't care no we don't care."

Katy Perry's Firework music video is very inspiring and just makes you want to let loose. Maybe we should all glow brighter than the moon, be who we are and reach our full potential. Reach, after all is a verb. It involves stretching, grasping and effort. This brings about Christina Aguillera's music video Beautiful. There is such an image that the society says is attractive or correct. Each person is beautiful in their own way. We should never have to feel inadequate because of what we look like on the outside. It should be what we are on the inside, the firework that we let free.

The "purple" rule.

So today, America is uniting against suicide and bullying. I have wondered why it has taken us this long to acknowledge what goes on, but I feel since it is an uncomfortable topic, people just turn the other way and don't recognize that it happens. It is strange to me to think it took Ellen to cause a ripple effect. However, even though there is the question "why now," I am grateful that it is being addressed. Everyone has had some sort of bullying towards them, but I hope not many have had suicide directly influence their life. It is something that needs to be addressed. The sad stories of people shooting themselves on church steps and other suicides going "undiscussed" on college campuses are no longer set in vain. I pray for the families and friends that have experienced any grievance from suicide. As a person who has been affected by this, I say that though you grow from the situation, not a day goes by where I don't think of my friend.

Suicide from unacceptance needs to stop.

Bullying needs to stop.

We need to do all that we can do to be a friend to others and love those we come in contact with. We never know what goes on inside someone's head. People may seem put together on the outside, but no one EVER knows if they truly are. Treat everyone as you would want to be treated. Remember, Love makes the world go round.

Sunlight and a Latte

N'aray je jamais mieulx que j'ay?
Suy je la ou de demeuré,
M'amour et toutte ma plaisance?
N'arés vous jamais cognoissance,
Que je suy vostre et demouray?

--------------------------------

Will I never have better than I have?
Am I where I've always been,
O my love and all my delight?
Will you never realize
That I am yours and will so remain?

--Josquin de Morton
"I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you..."

anything can happen IF you let it

I was at the doctor's office today (which I had to pay to park...very odd to me. I guess that is big city living). While I waited the two hours for my five minute visit, I picked up a lot of reading material. One of the things that I picked up was the September/October 2010 issue of PA: Positively Aware. It talked all about the Vienna International AIDS Conference in July. This is besides the point of what I am talking about. However, I had to give this little bit of background information so that what I write will make better sense.

I was greatly inspired by something I read written by Sue Saltmarsh:

"It seems to be an aspect of human nature that we hardly ever confront a problem head-on and solve it once and for all without setbacks, without trial and error, or 'if at first you don't succeed...' [...]

"So much of life in this world, at this time, seems fraught with seemingly no-win situations. People in Louisiana say they're angry with the Obama administration for 'not doing more' about the BP oil spill, but when a moratorium on deep water drilling is announced and the plan to make BP establish a fund to pay damages is achieved, they wail about the loss of jobs on oil rigs and the danger of losing BP's presence (and business) in the Gulf. For years, people have cried out for our soldiers to come home from Iraq and Afghanistan and yet, nothing but criticism is heard about the plan to start bringing them back next year. Every day it seems some new information comes out on the beneficial effects of eating organic food, yet the people who need it the most can't begin to afford to buy it. Legislators in states like California, New York, Massachusetts, and Illinois have resisted raising taxes to solve their huge budget crises and yet people rant against cuts to education, human services, and infrastructure--do they not understand that the extra $5 or $10 out of their paycheck is not so high a price to pay?

"And then there is the issue of profit motive in finding a cure. In this time when almost daily we hear about some Wall Street financier who got a bonus of millions while bilking his clients of their life savings; of a governor who worked eight hours a week while taking thousands in kickbacks; of a doctor who diluted cancer chemo drugs in order to sell them while patients died from not getting the correct dose, is it any wonder that there is a prevalent suspicion that even if a cure is discovered, it won't be made available because pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, and insurance companies are making too much profit with the current treatments that keep HIV a chronic condition, not to mention treatment for the related conditions or co-infections that often occur in the HIV-positive?

"Having worked in non-profit all my life, I just can't wrap my mind around how, exactly, any sane person could justify putting the acquisition of money before helping to improve or save lives [...]

"Each of us makes choices that affect our quality of life, our relationships, our finances, our health, our sanity. Too often those choices come down to the lesser of two or more evils. But in making them, we continue to go on, we hold out for a brighter day, some even dare to dream of the possibility of being able to choose from a multitude of 'goods.'

"And someday, somehow the oil will stop leaking, wars will end, clean and wholesome food will be available to everyone, the economy will truly recover, programs that help people will be strongly funded because our society knows it's right to do so, and there will be a cure for cancer, Alzheimer's, diabetes, and HIV. We just have to hang on.

"Breathe deep, live long."

For some reason, Sue Saltmarsh's words really ring true to me. Though her views might not coincide with others about the war or the BP problems that this country has faced, I do feel that she does make a true and poignant point: people can never be pleased. They are always looking for the next thing to gripe and moan about, or the next big amount of money that can be earned.

I would really hate to see the pharmaceutical companies and the like put the precedence of their own quarterly growth over the lives of human beings. No one's life is that invaluable. This instance reminds me of two specific things that I have seen.

1- Angels in America. The character played by Al Pacino. He is so greedy that though there are people who have been on the waiting list for years to get medicine, he is rich/powerful enough to bump himself to the top of the list and obtain treatment. In the end, he dies and has a vision of former convictees etc etc and has a whole scrooge like encounter. However, unlike his counterpart, he does not learn from his life lessons.

2- Spirit. Here is a homeless person that had been living at Cole (in reference to Flipping Out) since 1968. She dies one night due to dehydration. The police come, they take the body away, and all that remains is a candle and a flower provided by the beauty salon's owner. Jenni, Jeff's EA, makes a valid point by saying that no one soul is more important than the other. I strongly feel this to be true.

Wealth, fame or intelligence does not qualify someone to be at the top of the ranks, but it seems that in this inevitable society that we live in, class has to be measured somehow. Someone has to be in the third class to go down with the ship.

I have gotten off on a tangent...

The reason I was so inspired by this article in PA was that we as humans are scared of the future. We may have goals and plans years down the road, but we are scared to go out of our comfort zone. Define the word comfort? Is the familiar comfortable or is it the uncomfortable/the adventure that we thrive for? Is it the stability or the cageless freedom that we as creatures yearn for? In our minds it seems decisions are easy. If we have a partner to share life with, than we make decisions around them. If we have children, they come first. However, what if you are single and have many different paths ahead of you? Do you choose the smoothest course or do you take the leap of faith? Then comes the question, what is the smoothest course? Where do we go? What do we do? Who/what/when do we live for? These are all questions that I feel everyone asks themselves, but in reality, we are all too scared to answer truthfully.

The fact is, we cannot see the future. We can have our little premonitions or flow with fate or have faith in God (whichever you choose to believe), but where does one allow fear to take over? Are decisions based on need and want or does fear of regret motivate us to put in the back of our minds things that seem frivolous? Do we, as Mr. Darling, put our dreams away and every night, before we go to bed, open that drawer? Overtime, it gets harder and harder to close the drawer, but somehow, we always do. What is a dream? Are dreams reality or do they live in our own Neverland with the rest of the childhood fantasies? Do we follow our dreams or do we choose love/stability/familiarity/certainty?

"If you reach for the stars, all you get are the stars, but we found a whole new spin: if you reach for the heavens, you get the stars thrown in."

Here is the last thing that I want to ask you to do. If you know how to answer, please tell me:

Define the word happiness.

unexpected

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy.' They told me that I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."

--John Lennon

What is the key to happiness? Is it love? Is it friendship? Is it family? Is it success? Is it doing what other people think you should do with your life?

I am currently in the midst of an interesting twist, as Lisa would say. Of course, the road you are on seems to be smooth, then there is a construction worker who has to go and jack things up. You have the option of continuing to drive down the bumpy road that you are on with the chance of ruining your car, or you have the option to turn down a different one and press re-route on your GPS. Your ultimate goal is happiness. Do you continue driving down the bumpy road that seems to be a direct line to the end? You cannot see if the road smooths out, or if it indeed does end up where you want it to go. There is also the option of taking an adventure and driving down a new road, one that has a lot of turns and detours to the end goal of happiness. Taking that road allows happiness to come to you because you have to make it for yourself.

There is a famous saying that I love. Gay Hintze (an elderly woman I knew very well) made it into a bookmark for me: You may be at a fork in the road but it is the forks in the road that make life interesting and lead us to new adventures. The journey is half the fun.

I really do feel that the journey is half the fun. It reminds me of To Wong Fu. Vida Boheme throws the map out of the window while they are trying to get to LA. On the way, they encounter things that they would never expect and touch the lives of a dinky little town. Yet, it is what they wanted in the end--the growth, the friendship and the happiness.

"So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fail, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from the things that scare us the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for... Maybe you'll get more than you could ever have imagined... Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end... the journey is the destination."

--Chad Fiveash

Hues and Hughes

Here I am in Connecticut. Cheshire to be exact, and there is no cat here telling me confusing riddles that are hard to understand.

As I sit here and devour the eloquent, articulated ideas that Ayn Rand proclaims in her minimal words, I ponder many things that I have learned over the past few years and more importantly, the past few months.

A couple days past I saw the almost as ingeniously conceived movie Eat Pray Love. This is what has sparked my intriguing devotion to my thoughts.

"We cannot know what will be wrong or right in a selfless society, nor what we'll feel, nor in what manner. We must destroy the ego first. We must believe. Believe even if your mind objects. Don't think. Believe. Trust your heart, not your brain. Don't think. Feel. Believe."

This summer has been quite crazy. I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned a lot about friendship. I have learned a lot about relationships. I have learned a lot in general.

I have learned that I if I put my mind to it, I can do just about anything. I can pick up something very difficult that I would never think I could learn and become confident in myself.

I have learned that some people are crazy. They may seem sane on the outside, but the more one gets to know them, they turn hostile, untrustworthy and a lot of lies can be spread quickly.

I have learned that I need to not trust so easily. What I say to someone might not always stay in confidence. Things seem to always leak. Either that or you never know who is listening.

I have learned that someone you might think hates you, is jealous of you or rude may in fact be looking out for you and wanting to be a friend.

I have learned that moving forward with life may be difficult, but it is also the first stepping stone to creating a happy life. You can never look back with regret, but you can look back with fond memories.

I have learned people do truly care.

I have learned that some things are not worth leaving behind. They are worth holding on to and never letting go.

So come with me where dreams are born and time is never planned

When I was a little boy...I knew I could fly.

Not just believed it, but knew it to be true in the same way you know that you can breathe, until one day, when I confided I had this special power and the reply was, "Honey...you were probably just dreaming."

And just like that, I knew she was right.

So I spent the rest of my life with feet planted firmly on the ground growing up and doing grown up things and rising up, up, up and away from the enchanting moments that make up beginnings.

Until one day

I dreamed again that I could fly.

Soaring through the night sky feeling cool wind on my warm pink cheeks--that exhilarating feeling you get in the hollow of your belly when you dive, dive, dive then shoot straight back up to the stars as though you'll zoom right past the constellations and into infinity.............

See.

I think you know the feeling too.

And that's when I got to thinking, maybe it wasn't a dream at all.

But a memory.

A memory of a moment I knew to be true until someone told me it couldn't be so.

So listen...

Listen to the little one inside you not afraid to trust in that. Listen to the voice that whispers fantasy and reality can all be overlapped.

When you reach the age of not believing and breathing and leaving miracles behind, know that you can choose to excuse yourself of being grown up. You can decide not to hide but keep your eyes wide open to the possibilities.

Because when you believe in things, BELIEVE IT! All the way! Implicitly and unquestionably!

Extraordinary things can happen to us all!!


http://www.youtube.com/user/joanna71985#p/u/3/AdIMKNkoSy8

Serigraphs and pitchforks

I have really needed to catch up on a couple of my shows that I have missed this summer. One of them, surprisingly, brought a message to my mind at the perfect moment. It came from Andre Leon Talley on America's Next Top Model. Angelica asked Andre about how he got into the world of fashion. Yes, this seems like a frivolous path of life for people who do not spend hundreds of dollars on a wardrobe, but hear me out just for the purpose of this posting.

Andre said that he always wanted to work in the world of fashion--just a side note, he recieved his Masters in French at Boston University. He moved to New York as it seems that is where the arts are located. He was hired by Andy Warhol to be a quasi slave licking stamps, running errands and doing hard work for $50 a week. As most everyone knows, even back then, this is tuppence compared to a supportive salary. Andre lived in the YMCA with insect and human cockroaches alike until he had his break. He never gave up on his dream. He faught hard and was willing to make sacrifices no matter if his life was hell to fulfill his dream of working at Vogue.

I just sit here and ponder the strength that this story sends out. Yes, once again, it is about fashion, but how applicable is this to anyone's life?! I mean, for crying out loud, it has everything to do with my inner termoils as of yet. If you, as the reader, are one of the lucky ones that has a career path that slowly and stedily leads you into a nice, comfortable career, I congratulate you and say I am slightly jealous. However, isn't the journey half of the adventure? Yes, I am venturing out into a world of unknown hoping that I can make something with my life! Many people have faith in me, but sometimes it is hard to have faith in one's self. I must, as Indiana Jones does, take a deep breath, put my hand on my chest and take a step: trust that the invisible path to the other side will be beneath my feat guiding me to further destinations.

On another topic, I am always one that is careful with what I say as to try to not offend anyone. I care too much about what other people think of me that I allow their opinions to sway mine. I do have something to say though no matter what differing opinions are out there:

When the leaders of this country sat down and wrote the immortal words "all men are created equal," I do not think they invisioned a time where there would be such political turmoil over this topic. I have to state my mind. I am so grateful that people have opinions. They are important in the world. I love when people stand up for what they believe in. It makes me really happy when someone disagrees and stands up in a socially acceptable, sophisticated way. Over a year ago, I feel that both sides of politics have become hostile towards each other. No matter what your opinion is on certain bills, there is no reason to sacreligiously protest at holy landmarks or write nasty things about other parties involved. Campaigning is a great way to get messages across. Whether you are for gay marriage or not, please do not be hostile one with another! Having lived in Utah for four years, I have seen a great deal of dividing amongst neighbors. What happened to coexistance??
Another statement I might add--Have you seen the movie Too Wong Fu...? This is the way to get equality--by being genuine people that come and treat anyone, no matter who they are or where they come from, as important and decent people. I cannot stress enough about how much I agree with this concept. The best form of missionary work is service. The best form of kindness is service. I just feel that reaching into the hearts of other people is the best way to get across a message. LGBT are normal human beings who want what every other person in america wants: a nice career and a loving relationship. Marching naked down the streets or dressing like gawdy flamboyant fairies at the Magic Kingdom is giving the whole community a bad name. On the flip side, quoting Biblical texts and ignoring/treating differently/looking down upon certain people. If we are Christians, we should do as Christ does. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Remember, there are really only two commandments: Love God and Love thy neighbor. As I have loved you, love one another.


That is all


--Blake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DE5a80I8EU

"Should I choose the smoothest course/steady as a beating drum/[...]is all my dreaming at an end/or do you still wait for me dream giver/just around the river bend."

Utahrd

Who would ever think that I would miss Utah? As much I say I hate Utah to myself, I really miss its grandeur and its beauty. Also, I miss all my friends!! Oh jeez... I really want to go back.

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'

I do not even know where to start this blog post. I have really enjoyed my three months here in central Florida. It seems like I have created a whole new life down here...oh wait, I have. Even though the humid index is upwards of 112 a day (meaning where I work it is 122), I love the Florida climate. I still think that when I step outside at night it is going to be cold (as it was in UT). I open the door from my air conditioned apartment and step outside and it is warm! It really allows one to have a nice night.

I really enjoy my job. At first, it was a monotonous job, but I just have to get over the initial hump. Yes, Brazilian tour groups make me turn red in the face, but I really love making people smile and making them feel important even though they are just 1 in 28,000 that ride the ride in on day. Isn't that what Disney is all about? making memories? taking pictures is, making memories... I adore my coworkers and my managers. Overall, it has been a great experience and one that I do not want to end.

I love being able to go to the parks and watch the fireworks, or ride one ride or sit and eat some food. For me, it never gets tiring. I mean, who gets to celebrate their Birthday at Disney World? Well, I guess a lot (since there are thousands of Birthday pins seen in a given day), but still. I never have. It is really neat. My sister told me that I was finally going to get out of my Disney obsession by being here, but I think being here made my passion for the Disney company grow.

I have been playing in the cast member choir/orchestra. They put on a concert every year at EPCOT. The proceeds this year are going to Make a Wish Foundation. This years concert is Dream Our Dreams, which is all Disney music (to make sure you see the legit of it, last year was 70s year before movie scores... so I lucked out this year). It is really wicked sweet to be able to play the music that I adore and love. To see Alan Menken's hand or have "follow Ashley" written in the On the Record parts (fyi, I freaked out inside when I read that). It is just really cool that I get to play actual Disney music. I am a nerd that way though.

Graduate school is important. It has been weighing heavily on my mind for a long time. Ever since I have been here, I have wondered if I should stay with the Disney Company or if I should leave and go to graduate school. I feel that taking the leap of faith and going to graduate school may not be the easier/smoother course, but I will regret never having taken that chance. Disney will always be here for me. If I want to come back, I always can. If I never come back to work for them, I can always visit my home where I truly belong. I am for sure staying seasonal though, so I will work at least 40 hours a year ;). I feel that being here, I cannot make a rational decision and the best thing to do is to go home and visit my parents. Once there if I decide that graduate school is not the right decision, then I will for sure know because I will not be sucked into the black hole of despair. Good thing I have close friends. This is one thing I can be happy about.

one word

eh

It has been three weeks since I have posted, but it really feels like an eternity. I am really enjoying my time here. Sometimes, I want to shoot myself because the work is so monotonous and I have crazy 13 hour shifts (This next week I have one day off but work 57 hours). I am learning a great deal about human nature and myself actually. Even when I want to slap a guest over the head and say they are an idiot, I have to force a smile and try to reconciliate the problem. That takes a lot. Some days you plead for an evacuation or a storm so that the ride will be shut down for a while. It is kinda like a recharge of your system when that happens.

I miss everyone. I have good friends here and I REALLY enjoy spending my time with them. However, I miss the people I am close to. The ones who I experienced life with. I could name the people, but you definitely know who you are. It is actually quite interesting. I accidentally erased all my contacts. At first I was really upset, but then, I noticed that the people who texted me were the people I should have in my contacts. A couple of the people I did not have the numbers for so I had to ask certain peeps for the numbers, but still...it says something about who I mean a lot to. It was just an interesting experiement.

Here is a shoutout to Noelle. I have been really confused about what to do with my life. You know, it was CCM all the way. I saw that God had put a finger in my life and just how it all worked out was kinda crazy. However, since being here I have been thinking WHY go to graduate school when Disney kinda likes my musicality and there is SO much opportunity here. I have been for about two weeks torn up inside about everything. I have to tell CCM and the government by June 1 what I am doing... so it has been even more intense. However, I changed my status today and Noelle texted me. She gave me some of the best advice I have heard (of course, she always does):

"I think of me in a mid life crisis...what would I be glad I had done vs had not done? I know as much education would be the best thing I could have done."
"True. So true. And why give up seventeen years for a job? I mean it would be great but I still need to try for my goal."
"Exactly. And you HAVE worked SO hard why say no now? Facing more hard work is scary... [...]It is normal to feel that way!"

For some reason, this is exactly what I needed to hear. It was the way she said it I think. I am just going to have to go forward with faith and hope that I am making the right decision. There will always be time for a job, but there may not always be time for graduate school.

How's the weather up there?

This past week has been really relaxing. I love the times where I don't have to do anything. I spend time with Chris, Moe and other friends and just relax. So nice!! I will miss them all. At least I don't have to sleep on Steven's couch now. No, it was fun. It is sad I will not be eating my Ceasar Salads anymore from Flemmings....

My family at dinner after my recital.

Chris and me at the Zoo with the baby and mama elephant.
The Fantastic Mr. Fox Party.
Fab girls in the Red Brick Mansion.

So, I think you all should hear about my airplanes...

Utah to Denver:

It was alright, nothing too out of the ordinary. I was kinda worried because I was C42 on SW, but Fred made it into the overhead easily, thankfully. So, we are going to land and the pilot says that there will be some turbulence. When isn't there? Well, this is the worst turbulence I have ever been in. We free fell for a couple hundred feet. It was enough of a drop to make people scream. While we were falling, we were thrown to the right really hard. It looked liked the people in the Disneyland Sing-along song video when they ride Star Tours (if you have seen it, you know what I mean). After it was over, the captain apologized for it. Nice thought. It was fun, pretty intense but cool.

Denver to Orlando:

I bored the airplane not really focusing because I just want to land. I overhear some people talking and, as custom, I start dropping some eaves. Then I hear a lady say, "I hope Seattle is not as rainy as everyone says it is." I press the call button (the first time I have EVER pressed it). To the flight attendant "Where is this flight going?" "It is going to Seattle then to San Francisco." "I am on the WRONG flight?!" I instantly get off the airplane. I boarded the wrong plane. Now what is wrong with this scenario? When I was waiting in line, they did the random people check. They checked my I.D. and an old lady standing next to me with a walker. We are probably the two least dangerous people on the face of the planet. Secondly, how did my ticket go through? All this stuff about security and things, BOGUS. I cheated the system, somehow...kinda like how when in the corn maze, I ended up outside of the maze no longer in corn... don't know how that happens.

So I wait around for my flight to Orlando. Normal flight. Going to be four hours. We will land at 7:30P Boring, played lot's of word games in a book I stole from Chris...(sorry I will buy you a new one). Then the captain comes on and says that there are a lot of storm systems over Orlando and torndaos in the nearby area so we are going to hold in the air. If it comes to it, we will have to land in West Palms or Ft. Lauderdale. Okay... why does this always happen to me. Because we would descend at any time, we all needed to be in our "descending" positions. Seats upright, tables up, electronics up. Also, the captain says, "Parents, if you have children who get frightened easily, you might want to close the window because there will be a lot of lightning and the lazer show might scare several people." Okay... that is not something we want to hear. Since it is going to Orlando, you hear lot's of windows being shut. An hour rolls by. Captain comes on again. Control says that in about twenty minutes we will be able to land if the storms move because there is a 25 mile gap coming up in the systems. So hang on tight and we will land soon, but we still might have to land somewhere else if we can't make it in time. Forty minutes later, "We have been cleared to land." A flight attendant stands up to go back to her seat in the front and make sure everything is alright. Halfway down the isle, the captain comes on, "Brace yourself." Just then, you see the flight attendant go flying forward and the lights go out. The airplane starts shaking like nothing I have experienced and people start screaming. All of a sudden you hear this loud crashes and I realize that the overhead compartments have been jolted open because of all the turbulence. We finally get through the storm and the captain comes on and apologizes for what happened. You'll never guess...we flew through a system of TORNADOS!!! The result reminded me of the Twilight Zone where the man thinks there is something on the wing mixed with the Day After Tomorrow. So, we land smoothly. Evereyone starts clapping and shouting hooray. Reminder, we have been "entertainmentless" for a LONG time. My back was hurting...It is now 9:30P. We start taxing and then stop. Captain comes on again, "Because so many planes were not able to take off, there is no spot for us at the tarmack (sp?) so we are going to have to wait out. 10:00P we finally make it to the gate. I go to my MEARS shuttle. I wait until 11:00P to be picked up by the shuttle. Meanwhile, people have come after me and purchased last minute tickets and leave before me. Whatevs. I get on the shuttle full of 9 people and I am the last stop. 12:00A comes by and I am at the hotel. I have to wake up at 6:00A to go to Vista Way Apartments.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND FLYING!!!!!!!!!

Today, April 26, 2010

I met some really cool peeps and have hit it off which is great. I have been kind of worried because I was leaving the comfort of Provo and my close friends. It has been a blessing I have been laughing all day. I still don't know where I am working. I am living in a nice apartment with four guys and I have a roommate (which I havent had in three years...) so that is kinda new to me, but they are all cool and all from BYU (is that good or bad? We'll see). Nothing really exciting happened today other than going to Wal-mart and passing Publix and remembering all the free cookies I got from there! Orlando is all about green and so the Wal-mart every couple of minutes will dim the lights. This old lady came up to me and asked if she was going blind because the lights got dark. How cute??

Tomorrow is the day I find out where I am working, but I don't start work until Wednesday. At least I will have one more day to just relax.

Want to know the thing that I forgot?? Towels... I even went to Wal-mart but I told myself, I brought both my towels...nope.

Love peace and oranges!

Blakester

My brain hurts...

So I was reading a peer-reviewed article about Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and was trying to translate what this particular sentence means!!!

Premised on moments of duplication, proliferation, and inadvertent compulsion, Stevenson's account problematizes any putative control of meaning by deconstructing intentionality even as he warily asserts it.

I just thought you might get a kick out of it!

The Allen Family

My family is very interesting. If you were to meet us all at the same time, you would either run away screaming or die from laughing so hard. My mom is probably the best example!! She gave me a lot of genes including the I am kind a nut case sometimes. She walks into a bathroom, comes out and does not remember which way to go. She comes into my apartment to fetch me and then proceeds to walk down the hallway in the opposite direction of the door (which she is standing at) and thinks she is leaving... Okay okay I know I am harsh, but this picture at BYU really reminded me of a story.

We are all sitting around playing a game (probably Scategories or Cranium...something involving pencils and paper). My mom glazes over. We all proceed to look at her... she slowly moves the pencil closer and closer to her eye. The whole time we are thinking, "what is she doing?!" Then all of a sudden, my mom let's out a OW...kinda like when the woman falls off the grape smashing thing on youtube. "Ow, oh oh oh...my eye!" Yes folks, you got it. My mother poked herself in the eye with her own pencil...

Your new graduate student

CCM!

Graduate Schools

So I got into San Francisco Conservatory into Jodi Levitz studio. I just think it is funny after the whole sh-bang and the lesson etc. It is still pretty cool though.

Money wise, I am not really that happy about what I got. With the scholarship and the government loans, it wouldn't even pay for tuition. At least I got something right?? Now I just have to think if this school is really worth all the money that it costs, $39,000 a year (ahem). We shall see.

I heard back from Mannes, remember, the school that I really wanted to go to but had such an awful experience (aka faculty not being there and people being hoyty toyti to not just me but Chris as well).... I was not accepted. I am not really that surprised, but it still hurt a little. Hopefully I hear back from CCM soon. I did call them today though and the Admissions Office says that Cathy Carroll has not said anything about graduate students. I have a friend who applied and got rejected so at least this a positive sign? I hope so. Dr. Biggs says that usually the No's hear first. Haven't heard no...

2 down, 1 to go.

the gravel IS the place for me

So, this past weekend I have been working on two presentations. Of course, with me, I over work things and so I spent 40 hours in three days working on these projects. Saturday, I worked from 8a to 2a with a three hour break to see Blood Wedding at BYU. Anyway, I learned a lot about Joan Tower, Ruth Crawford-Seeger and Virginia Woolf. When I was choosing a reading example from A Room of One's Own for my Masterpieces of English Literature class presentation, I really admired what she is saying in this work. At first, I was kinda upset that the selection we were assigned to read came from a series of essays based on lectures, but then I realized that though it is not Mrs. Dalloway or To the Lighthouse it is still a masterpiece. The things she says are just so profound and deep. :) This is why I am not afraid of Virginia Woolf. I also had to incorporate the movie The Hours into the presentation. This is just a remarkable movie with an astounding message. I am showing the beginning where Woolf kills herself, which, btw I learned, is actually how she killed herself by putting stones in her pocket and walking into the river, and the letter she writes in the clip is exactly what she wrote to her husband Leonard. Such a profound movie about decisions and life itself. With a life full of death, sexual abuse and mental instability, Virginia Woolf was able to write some pretty amazing things. Here is the section I chose from A Room of One's Own. It is long, but it is great:

“It was thus that I found myself walking with extreme rapidity across a grass plot. Instantly a man’s figure rose to intercept me. Nor did I at first understand that the gesticulations of a curious-looking object, in a cut-away coat and evening shirt, were aimed at me. His face expressed horror and indignation. Instinct rather than reason came to my help; he was a Beadle; I was a woman. This was the turf; that was the path. Only the Fellows and Scholars are allowed here; the gravel is the place for me. Such thoughts were the work of a moment. As I regained the path the arms of the Beadle sank, his face assumed its usual repose, and though turf is better walking than gravel, no very great harm was done [….]

“Strolling through those colleges past those ancient halls of roughness of the present seemed smoothed away; the body seemed contained in a miraculous glass cabinet through which no sound could penetrate, and the mind, freed from any contact with facts (unless one trespassed on the turf again), was at liberty to settle down upon whatever meditation was in harmony with the moment. As chance would have it, some stray memory of some old essay about revisiting Oxbridge in the long vacation brought Charles Lamb to mind—Saint Chares, said Thackeray, putting a letter of Lamb’s to his forehead. Indeed, among all the dead (I give you my thoughts as they came to me), Lamb is one of the most congenial; one to whom one would have liked to say, Tell me then how you wrote your essays? For his essay are superior even to Max Beerbohm’s, I thought, with all their perfection, because of that wild flash of imagination, the lightning crack of genius in the middle of them which eaves them flawed and imperfect, but starred with poetry. Lamb then came to Oxbridge perhaps a hundred years ago. Certainly he wrote an essay—the name escapes me—about the manuscript of one of Milton’s poems which he saw here. It was Lycidas perhaps, and Lamb wrote how it shocked him to think it possible that any word in Lycidas could have been different from what it is. To think of Milton changing the words in that poem seemed to him a sort of sacrilege. This led me to remember what I could of Lycidas and to amuse myself with guessing which word it could have been that Milton had altered, and why. It then occurred to me that the very manuscript itself which Lamb had looked at was only a few hundred yards away, so that one could follow Lamb’s footsteps across the quadrangle to that famous library where the treasure is kept. Moreover, I recollected, as I put this plan into execution, it is in this famous library that the manuscript of Thackeray's Esmond is also preserved. The critics often say with its imitation of the eighteenth-century style was natural to Thackeray—a fact that one might prove by looking at the manuscript and seeing whether the alterations were for the benefit of the style or of the sense. But then one would have to decide what is style and what is meaning, a question which—but here I was actually at the door which leads into the Library itself. I must have opened it, for instantly there issued, like a guardian angel barring the way with a flutter of black gown instead of white wings, a deprecating, silvery, kindly gentleman, who regretted in a low voice as he waved me back that ladies are only admitted to the library if accompanied by a Fellow of the College or furnished with a letter of introduction.

"That a famous library has been cursed by a woman is a matter of complete indifference to a famous library. Venerable and calm, with all its treasures safe locked within its breast, it sleeps complacently and will, so far as I am concerned, so sleep for ever. Never will I wake those echoes, never will I ask for that hospitality again, I vowed as I descended the steps in anger. Still an hour remained before luncheon, and what was one to do? Stroll on the meadows? sit by the river? […]”

Tata for now. Go see the movie The Hours. It is so great.

"To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. Leonard, always the years between us, always the years. Always the love. Always the hours."

Brody and Brahms

I am done with auditions for graduate school. Let me tell you how awesome this is!!! No more stress, no more losing sleep over what ifs, no more buts, no more practicing 7 hours a day on one piece. Yes, my recital is in April, but I have played this rep literally across the country, so it will be a piece of cake. My recital is April 10 at 3:30P in the Madsen Recital Hall at BYU. This is my rep list:

Bach Cello Suite No. 2 in D minor BWV 1008
--Sarabande

--Menuet I

--Menuet II

--Gigue

Fuchs Sonata Pastorale

--II. Pastorale

Taylor Pulse Aria & Achoo Lullaby for electronic tape and amplified viola

Brahms Sonate in E-flat, Op. 120 No. 2 (whole thing)

Vieuxtemps Elegie, op. 130

I am really excited for my recital. I am very prepared and it will be fun to just perform rather than being nervous about how things will go because I am not prepared as I could be...aka last year and the Walton.

So let's talk about graduate auditions in order.

San Francisco Conservatory of Music (SFCM) was a really nice place. I flew in on a Saturday and stayed with Joe McCall (Chris's grandmother). We just watched the olympics all night. It is fun to watch intense programings with her!! I had a lesson with Paul Hersch on Sunday. It was a great experience. Even though he teaches both piano and viola I think that he would be a great teacher to study under. His ideas are not aimed towards technique and the like, it is all about the musical language of a piece and what it is trying to say to the performer/listener. This sounds like the easy way out, but there is no other way to explain it. We meshed pretty well I think. The facilities at SFCM are quite new and very nice. The practice rooms have wonderful windows and a thermostat control in each one (these are two things that BYU is lacking in very heavily). My audition was on Monday (Feb 15). While Sandra and I were driving there, we saw an accident happen two cars in front of us. It was really intense I must say. A linen truck ran the red light going who knows how fast, smashed into this small silver honda and the car would have flown into the building had it not been for the car next to that. When we drove by, all I saw was the lady sitting with her head tilted to the side and her hair covering the face. I still do not know if she was hurt or not or even if she died! I must say, I am glad this was at 8:30A with my audition at noon. I was shaken pretty bad. The audition went well. I played Walton II, the Sarabande and the first mvt of Brahms. Pretty standard. The weather was really nice. Fog in the morning and sunshine in the afternoon. I love the area that SFCM is in as well.

University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music (CCM). I absolutely loved this school. So much. From when Anna picked me up in Kentucky at the airport (yes Kentucky...) I knew that this place felt right. The school is marvelous and everyone is so nice. So so nice. I went to Transmigration at CCM which is a series of eight student produced, written and directed plays. They were all good, of course. Some better then others, but I really enjoyed seeing all 8 of them over the course of three days. My audition went well here too. I played the Fuchs, Walton II, Sarabande and Pulse Aria. Cathy Caroll is such a nice lady, very similar to Dr. Bigelow in a way. The program that they have at CCM, especially in Viola, seems rather stellar and right up my alley. I wish I could have had a lesson with her, but I generally do not like lessons when I have an audition because then it makes me nervous in the audition because I try to incorporate things they say etc etc... oh well. We shall see what happens. I could on and on and rave about this school, the heated parking garage, the cheaper living, the nice layout etc...but I will spare you. It was also nice to run into Jessica as well form SOAP as well to see Anna again and make new friends!Mannes was an interesting experience. I do not want to say to much because the school is still on my list of where to go. Let me just say that I was surprised by the reception, especially after coming from SFCM and CCM. What can I expect it is NYC? I brought Chris with me because these auditions had piano accompanient. I am glad that he was there with me, let me just say that. It was also nice to visit Austyn, Dustin and Brody. Brody is an interesting kid...CRAZY at times for sure. Chris and I went to the New York Phil when Andras Schiff played Brahms Piano Concerto No. 1 (man there is a lot of Brahms in my life...). It was spectacular. I learned a lot from the performance and the "flawless" orchestral playing. I will never forget hearing those violins so together and so perfectly refined. Such a stark difference to what I am used to.

We shall see what comes of these auditions. Hopefully it is positive!! Now I just get to move onto my recital, graduation then working at Disney World. Hoorah! Should be very exciting. I am sad that I cannot do CLOC as well for a second summer (especially with the season they have), but beggars cannot be choosers. I will enjoy my time at Disney World, especially since I have wanted to work there since I was four and first stepped foot onto the boat that travels across the lagoon. Never forget it!

Hypocricy, Insomnia and Rain

Moe, Julia and I went bike riding last saturday (January 16). It was fun. I have not been on a bike in a while. The seat was way too hard...I got a bruise. Very uncomfortable. We were riding bikes/visitng with Dallin and Giff Giff when Chris came home. At 2am, we all decided that we were just going to go to San Diego for fun. Why not? It is warm there right? At 3, after getting a bag each, ice and some scrambled-together-food, we were on the road. Road trips are very fun I think. On the way, we listened to some Louis Black. Have you ever heard him? He is HYSTERICAL, though I would advise those opposed to swearing to stay away, but man, his candy corn skit is hysterical. We we were getting close to oceanside, we started blast R&B/Rap. Wicked sweet.

Oceanside was fun. We went to the beach, watched some surfers do some nice cool tricks and then went with Chris's friend Ryan to some cafe in the area. It was really nice. The hamburgers were good, and not to expensive.
We then drove down to SD (first stopping at the temple). We took a "family" portrait in front of the temple. It was nice to actually see it for real, instead of in pictures. With the grey sky, the temple was very starkly contrasted. It was cool. Moe made fun of me though because I found a nice fuzzy caterpillar. Everyone knows about me and caterpillars...
Then we went over to Aldo's house (one of Chris's friends from high school). It was a sweet pad with a BEAUTIFUL kitten. Also, when Aldo got the lease to the house, he had to sign a waiver that he wouldn't add or mess up the landlord's beer collection. It was actually a pretty impressive collection. I mean, there is no beer inside, but it was just cool to see SO many beer cans and bottles. I didn't know that people collected them like they would baseball cards.

We went shopping at a mall in SD. It is the nicest mall I have ever been to. It kinda was like being on 5th ave in NY in an outdoor Simon mall. Interesting huh??

That night, we all got dressed up and had Thai food. YUM! I love that genre of pallet. So good. We also went and saw some two pianists battle it out, kinda like karaoke, but they would take requests and see if they could play it on the piano. It was fun.

The next day we left at noon. We were in So Cal for about 24 hours. On the way back, it was raining SO hard. SO SO SO SO hard that it was hard to see ten feet in front of you. It took something like 15-16 hours to get home because the first hour took maybe three hours. Something like that. I am just glad that it did not snow like it said it was going to. That would have been worse.

During the rain, we came across a car that was in the right two lanes perpendicular to traffic. It caused a traffic jam, but as we got close we noticed that this woman had fish tailed and spun. Luckily she did not crash into anything and that the drivers were cautious enough/not going so fast that they could notice she had spun out. I was rather sad though because she was crying. How scary would that be...traumatizing probs.

Oh! I got a hair cut. European mullet.

Auditions are coming up soon, and it just seems that so much happens all the time. I have no time to practice for now CCM...learning new pieces for that on tops of practicing for SFCM and Mannes... PLUS seating auditions on Mahler 5, which I haven't even really looked at. AND we are playing Mendelssohn's Midsummer Night's Dream...joy! That scherzo is going to be the death of me, and I have to perfect it because I am principle. Not that I am complaining though.

I went and saw Tartuffe. Dallin Alred was in it. It was SO good. I liked the costumes and what they added. It was very Tim Burtony, and quite hysterical. I like how they added music. A very good production. Up there with Hamlet. The violin playing/singing could have been a bit better, but it was not a musical so I guess that is alright. Also, sometimes the projection was not good, especially with the woman (minus Norine and Dorine, the maids. They were superb). I think the best part was the costume/makeup design--oh, and the whole picture frame/silohuette idea was bretty nifty.

Earlier this month, I went and saw a project of They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Now that was one moving piece of art. Not a play, a piece of art. Man. I don't think I have been effected by a play before like that. I couldn't talk. It took everything I had to actually go up to my friends and tell them good job. The sad thing is that many of the audience members were stoic and did not really know what was going on. I loved how the people in the marathon dance represented the people in Robert's life. I also like how it differentiates from the book. Very good. So, I do have one question though--did Robert shoot his mother as well? That is what I got from it. What does someone have to feel like to ask someone to shoot them, and what kind of person actually does it?? Oh wait....I have experienced this....I don't deal well with suicide/death....not at all. This was some of the best acting I have ever seen, and definitely the best "production" at BYU, though BYU could never do it because of content and because of swearing. Luckily I saw this. Oh, I loved how the dance marthoners wore masks and then when they were part of Robert's life, they took off the mask. I also liked how the judge/announcer was almost like Big Brother, how he would always be lurking around, but never do anything or interfere....creepy. Tartuffe was the same as Robert. It was interesting to see him play a dramatic role and a comic role and do both pretty darn well. Way to go Andrew Veenstra.

This brings me to the topic of Angels in America...but that discussion could go on for novels and sequels. That is such an amazing two plays...and the HBO movie is BREATHTAKING!!

"Respect the delicate ecology of your delusions."

Summer and snow, winter and critics

Hmm...So much has happened since I posted last summer.
First of all, the College Light Opera Company was one of the best and worst experiences of my life. I will start off with the worst--the humidity was a big problem, and the fact that each of the cottages that we lived in did not have air conditioning was a huge problem, as was the mold that grew from the lack of dry air. It rained so much at the beginning of the summer that there was an enormously large number of biting bugs. Being related to my mother, I was attacked, all the time. The only other problem was that I missed people too much. Because it was a high stress situation, nerves were always tight and emotions always rampant. Then again, when is that not the case with many Musical Theatre nerds?? However, CLOC was a great experience. I met some wonderful people, made some amazing connections (woot on that factor) and had a great time doing 9 shows. We performed Brigadoon, Yeomen of the Guard, Lady, Be Good!, Me and My Girl, Titanic, The Most Happy Fella, Carousel, H.M.S. Pinafore and Jekyll and Hyde. Some shows were definitely better than others...but overall I loved it and am SO glad I did it (even if I had dish duty three times). The really impresive thing about CLOC is that everything is done in a week. We rehearse for the following show during the day (includes vocalists rehearsing, orchestra rehearsing, sets being designed, painted, cut, etc and costumes being made, fitted etc). We, the orchestra, only rehearsed Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (Thursday was Matinee Day), Friday and then it is stiz probe on Sat with Dres Rehearsal Monday night. It is pretty daunting. Got tiring after a while with no air conditioning in the theatre during rehearsals (sorry for the women in FUR coats during Tech rehearsal of Tianic in the middle of July. They were supposed to be freezing in Winter 1912, but sadly, they were dying of heat exhaustion instead). My father was able to come see Me and My Girl and H.M.S. Pinafore. Those were good shows, wish he could have seen Most Happy Fella, Titanic or Jekyll, but Me and My Girl is hysterical.
I lived on the beach basically. Cape Cod, for a whole summer. Free room and board and I got paid. Sweet gig right there. Shout out to all my friends, I miss you!
School last semester was bad! Although it started off with Moe, Chris and me going to SF to celebrate Chris's birthday (in a way I guess), but I hated most of my classes. I had graduate school pre-screens which didn't turn out so well. I was stressed all the time. I was annoyed very easily and basically, I just did not have a nice semester. We did Tales of Hoffman as the Opera. Mom and Dad came to see it. Love the score! The story...not so much.

Burton Fisch came to talk about the Bartok Viola Concerto. It was really cool to hear the person who worked with Tibor Serly on finishing the work. We also got to listen to his LP of the work. Nice job! Other cool things happened like Jay Brannon, Pinkas Zukermann, Spring Awakening (eh) and stuff.

Halloween was nice. I dressed up in two costumes--A vampire (as seen in vampire diaries) and a masquerader. It was nice to hang out with Moe, Sarah, Charolette, Julia etc...

For Thanksgiving, I went with Krista and some of her friends to seem some of the fam in El Paso. It was so nice to see my brother, his wife and my nephew/neice, my cousins, aunt and uncle and my grandparents. We had a grand ole' time. I also hung out with MaryCatherine which WAS AMAZING! I haven't seen her in two years...about time. It is always nice to see that we have a connection still even if we do not talk regular...about that...that needs to change!
My parents moved to CT, which I liked much more than El Paso. It is beautiful, clean and the house is great. I got to hang with Dustin, Austyn and Brody before they went to Portland. I am glad that all the airports were closed (even though it cost them a lot of money).

Krista came home and we just played games as a family THE ENTIRE TIME. We went and saw The Princes and the Frog. Why is this show so poorly rated? I don't know... I loved it. Oh! speaking of which--oscar lovers! Precious is one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. Mo'Nique needs to win the supporting oscar even if she is being a douche about the whole NY critics thing. Who cares, it is based upon acting and talent rather than appearances and personality. It is about time that the academy give an award based on merrit and not "we are sorry you have never won an award Kate Winslet."

Dad and I went to NYC. I saw A Little Night Music with Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Tres chic and tres good. Once again, I don't know what critics are saying. They complain about the tempi being too slow? I actually prefer Every Day a Little Death at that tempo. For the first time, I actually understood what that song was about. Granted, Angela does steal the show as Mme. Armfeldt, but I did not think Larkin was overly sexual. I liked the sombre take the show had. The orchestration was nice. Being a violist whose goal is to do shows, I have a right to judge on that. Oh! Over the summer, I saw Next to Normal. Great score. That one! Great acting too. When Alice Ripley signed in bubble letters, I was like...makes sense why she acted so well. Jennifer Damiano should have won the Tony. Nugh said. I liked how the costumes matched who Gage was controlling. As he began to fade, so did his purple shirt. Is that what is supposed to happen or am I adding things? Who knows. The set was cool. Intriguing I guess. I am so glad that I saw this production with the replacement Kyle Dean Massey. I like his voice better than the Aaron Tivet. This is one of the "loudest" shows I have seen, and with such a small orchestra...reminiscent of Idina blowing the speakers no? I did not like J. Robert Spencer much...my own opinion. However, I do love the song Everything Else--kinda pertains to me know? I bet everyone and their dog loves it though. Also, the Dream Dancing/There's a World was so touching, heart wrenching and miserable to watch. However, I don't think I agree with what people are saying--is Next to Normal the most overrated musical of the year? I certainly enjoyed it a lot, but I could see what they are saying. The whole psychopharmicologist thing. Now, Spring Awakening...I could agree on that being overrated.

My dad and I then went and saw Ragtime. Why is this show closing? It baffles me. Well, I could tell you why, but an article does: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/31/AR2009123101255.html

It was so great. 28 piece orchestra (what?!). Very huge and grand. I just remember when the curtain opened how breathtaking that was. I don't really have any more comments about it rather than I was impressed and am very sad that more people can't see it. Wish I could have seen Cheyenne in Finian's Rainbow. Oh well, I will just have to look forward to Promises, Promises, La Cage... and Addams Family. I also wished I lived in NYC right now so I could see Benanti in the vibrator play. Love that woman too. Maybe throw in some Carrie Fisher.

School this semester should be much better. Last one in Utah! hoorah! hopefully I get into Mannes and get outta this state and be one step closer to fulfilling my dreams! As Jennifer Damiano would sing "you know that it's just a [Brahms] sonata away and you play [...] and everything else goes away..." Tis my life.

Sorry there are so many pictures. Enjoy.